Im NO pitty partyer!

All righty so ahh I pulled pitty party and I really should have grown up a bit and just taken it to God and not made it look like im such a poor poor me wimp.

Cause im not and I just gotta suck it up.

So I think that like my fav. Relient K song goes. //Im on the up and up, im not giving up//

Too pumped I am for Drama fest! Cause I get to hang out with my fav. LOON LAKERS!

But then again I definatly need sleep cause I think that Im about to pass out.

Oh and our drama is preforming tomorrow... (hesitant gunts) I... think... that... we'er... ready...

OK so we could use like 20 more practises. but we are gonna make it.

Well english and I have a date at Microsoft Word. Its gonna be hawt!

Laters,
Jenny

My Birthday...

ITS MY BIRTHDAY


and i'll cry if I want to....

today was not fun and that is all

Knives and Jump-drives

Today is my almost birthday...

and I have many a present to show for it!...
JK
I dont BUT I do have some really SWEET stuff though.

Family:
like a JUMP-DRIVE that is like thee coolest present ever (my buddy totaro is doing a fine job of modeling this present) and also $90 but thats minor details.

Friends:
Well Janelle got me a lovely sweater and 3 burnt cds
Danae also got me a burnt cd, three shirts from the thrift store and a awesome side bag, and a shirt that was bought.

I LOVE PRESENTS.

But the bad part of my almost birthday is that I have to work on my theatre arts project and it is cutting cardboard with a exato knife (totaro is also doing a fine job of modeling this). It is certianly NOT fun. and to top it all off there is a dance at Bean There and I am not going... but that is ok every one will be drunk anyways and Hanging out with drunks is not #1 on my list of fun things to do... it dosn't even qualify so there.

Tomorrow is my for real birthday and I am ever so pumped! Cause that means that everyone must wish me a happy birthday and be happy! YAY that is my favorite and that is all.
But I do wish that I could hangout with my family cause they are definatly my favorites for real.

boo for Drama Dress rehersal.

Me and Erin had fun times today!

And that is my day!

Happy St. Patricks Day! (and my almost birthday)

Jenny

Im on the Up and up.

I just dont know... I mean I try to be a good person and understand everyone
but maybe its just me and I suck at understanding people.

I seriously just dont know.

I think that people underestimate us teenagers. We do a pretty good job at messing up life. Well we dont mess it up but we sure do get upset and hurt alot.

At being upset and hurt I am the princess. Only second to those drama queens in hollywood and such.

Kaitlyn and I had a really good talk today and it was well needed. Some really upsetting and very God questioning things came up and I really needed a sholder to cry on. I was really needing Gods peace to calm my self to understand what is happening. In the words of Relient K:

I Am Understood?

Sometimes it's embarrassing to talk to you
To hold a conversation with the only one who sees right through
This version of myself
I try to hide behind
I'll bury my face because my disgrace will leave me terrified

And sometimes I'm so thankful for your loyalty
Your love regardless of
The mistakes I make will spoil me
My confidence is, in a sense, a gift you've given me
And I'm satisfied to realize you're all I'll ever need

[Chorus]
You looked into my life and never stopped
And you're thinking all my thoughts
Are so simple, but so beautiful
And you recite my words right back to me
Before I even speak
You let me know, I am understood

And sometimes I spend my time
Just trying to escape
I work so hard so desperately, in an attempt to create space
Cause I want distance from the utmost important thing I know
I see your love, then turn my back and beg for you to go

[Chorus]

You're the only one who understands completely
You're the only one knows me yet still loves completely

And sometimes the place I'm at is at a loss for words
If I think of something worthy I know that its already yours
And through the times I've faded and you've outlined me again
You've just patiently waited, to bring me back and then

[Chorus]

The noise has broken my defense
Let me embrace salvation
Your voice has broken my defense
Let me embrace salvation

This is how my life is going at this point. I am really having a hard time of letting things go and just giving them to God. I hold on to problems figuring that I can fix them all I need is a little space. It seems that I fail every time but that is expected seings how I am useless without God. I am so stuborn and selfish alot of the time that I have tunnel vision toward all the help in this world and it seems all I want to do is just look at the problem and stress over it. I feel so helpless, like im caught in a glass box the only option left is to break the glass and really asess the problem.

A verse I really like,
// You're the only one who understands completely
You're the only one knows me yet still loves completely//
This is how it really is I feel like I have all these bad thoughts and horrible things stiring in me but God does and he understands and just has compassion. I know that I couldnt be this accepting in a million years and he can just as quickly understand as you need the understanding in the first place.

"Up and up" Relient K
Yesterday
Is not quite what it could've been
As were most of all the days before
But I swear today
With every breath I'm breathing in
I'll be trying to make it so much more

Cause it seems I get so hung up on
The history and what's gone wrong
And the hope of a new day
Is sometimes hard to see (what you see)
And though I'm finally catching onto it
And now the past is just a conduit
And the light there at the end is
Where I'll be

Cause I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
And I haven't given up
Given up on what
I know I'm capable of
And I'm on the up and up
I'm on the up and up
Yeah there's nothing left to prove
Cause I'm just trying to be
A better version of me
For you
A better version of me
For you

To be prosperous
Would not require much of me
You see contentment is the one thing
It entails
To be content with where I am
And getting where I need to be
I'm moving past the past
Where I have failed

But I'm finally catching onto it
And now the past is just a conduit
Right there at the end
Is where I'll be
Oh

[Chorus]

You never cease
To supply me with
What I need
For a good life
So when I'm down
I'll hold my head up high
Cause you're the reason why

[Chorus]

I really like this song. For its lyrics and its tune. The part that sticks out to me the most is
"Cause I'm just trying to be//A better version of me// For you"

I have a really bad habit of trying to be someone or something different for everyone so that everyone will accept me and like me. THIS IS VERY WRONG. If you do this stop. You are not being fair to others by hiding your really self and being unfair yourself most importantly by not letting your real self (which lots of people will accept) out.

So Please pray my friends and I are going through a rough patch right now.
Letting go,
Jenny

P.S. sorry this is so dreary and long (and probably boring). I will make the next blog more happier.
P.P.S. Thanks Kaitlyn and Danae for listening and being there. You mean the world to me.

Pop Rocks ROCK!

My sister and I ROCK! Pretty much we are too fun together.







<-- Erin and I eating some wicked cool pop rocks! So this blog is just about how Erin and I LOVE POP ROCKS! They are so fun to eat and play with. They are pretty much also sugar high enducing... you bet Erin ran laps aroundour kitchen and became very A.D.H.D. This is when I go to my room. This is her in 10 min.


Just Kidding this her 3 hours later after her sugar high and now to the sugar coma.
Isnt she just the sweetest thing?

I absolutly love the look little kids get when they are sleeping.

But yea here are my two pictures that I got from three60five.


Jeremy speaking and doing a fine job if I may say so.



The guys bobing for gummie bears in Tapioca pudding... yumm

anyways thats all the rambiling I have for one blog.

Over and out,
Jenny

Orange hair is HOT

Mr. Paylor

In a cheerleader outfit...
Priceless

Man I am good. You may be thinking that I am a harsh and crule person for puting this on here.
Well guess what?
I dont mind.

He is definatly the one who called me ugly because of my hair colour. What a jerk... I know. But I dont take it to heart I just put pictures of him on the internet... hahaha. I have one of him and I when hes in the outfit also maybe I will put it on here later.

Today was very short. I missed the morning because I wasnt woke up :( Then I found out that a partener that I had for a morning class didnt do anything while I was gone for two days. Frustrating. Pretty much and I missed lots in Math30B (a class in which I know nothing). This potentally harmful to me.

Anyways I may make life seem like it always sucks and that I am a man hater... the man hater is true.

Peace OUT.
Jenny

Whos hot now Mr.Paylor? (its me)

the rest of my weekend

Pretty much had to watch stupid evolution movies today... we should get to have a choice.
Oh well I coloured the whole time anyways.

Oh right three60five...
well lets see...
I went to a workshop on Juggiling 101 and it taught me: that I definaly am NOT cordinated

I also went to a workshop in Prayer. It was good I learned the acronym ACTS and it seems cool but im a big fan of talking to God without a template.

We had a GymBlast and it was thee best one I have went to yet! Not to mention my team WON!

Sessions were awesome and filled with so much knowledge and truth it blew me away.

We had an awesome band that played worship songs that rocked!
Combined with this we had a worship concert that had a MOSH PIT!!!! Man it was too cool.

In conclusion this weekend rocked.

number 1 we've just begun...

Well well here I am making a blog. All I can say is that I rock. Jk but hey whats wrong with a little self-confidence?
Hmm I shall tell you about my day.

We went to NBI this week end for Three60five and had a blast. We had a super awsome speaker too. Plus I won a SHIRT! Go me! We ate really awsome food had cool times hanging out and met lots of random people.

I will admit that I did freak out at frank perhaps... ok I did twice. I tried my hardest though.

Nipawin is my future collage I think. What ever God has planed but I sure am hopeing that it is.

whoa man I am trippin out on lack of sleep. But that just means random... k no i just must go to bed.

To be continued...